Shivering Noodle
There is a guy that I have been working with on a project for over a year now. We’ll call him Jerry. I don’t like the guy. He just rubs me the wrong way. He is in his mid 30’s, and he is not married and doesn’t even date anyone for some weird reason. He is just a strange person. Anyways, he suffers from Shivering Noodle Syndrome. What is Shivering Noodle Syndrome?
Well, Shivering Noodle Syndrome is the fear of the corporate wrath that an employee displays when he/she feels that they are not working “fast” enough. They get panicky and act like the mafia is after them if they don’t finish the project tomorrow.
Anyways, this guy I am working with finally took a couple of days of vacation. His last vacation was a year ago! So he goes on vacation for one day, and then comes back to work without using his second day! I couldn’t believe it. On top of all of this, the facility is in danger of shutting down and laying everyone off and the guy never even received any kind of promotion or raise in over 4 years since he has started working there. Unbelievable. The dope goes on vacation, and then gets so scared that he is just going to get layed off and wants to show what a “good little employee” he is, so he gives up his other day of vacation to come back.
People, don’t ever do this. The day you develop “Shivering Noodle Syndrome” is the day you have truly become a corporate slave. Like I said before, your company should not be evaluating you, rather you should be evaluating them to decide whether they are giving you what you need. Your time and vacation days are yours. Your well being is not worth any possible promotion or raise. And besides, more than likely you aren’t going to get it anyways. And if they are going to lay you off, then they are going to lay you off regardless of how many vacation days you have used. So don’t act like this guy does and become a Shivering Noodle. This guy gets all nervous and panicky and then starts demanding things of me and snaps at me. If it were legal and I couldn’t get fired, I would have punched this idiot in the face a long time ago.
So don’t cir-cum to Shivering Noodle Syndrome. And most importantly, do not let one of your coworkers that has Shivering Noodle Syndrome boss you around. Ignore them and take your time with what you are doing. You aren’t a slave and your work will not be up to quality standards if you don’t take your time with it. Just take your time and do the best work you can. If it isn’t good enough for the ol’ incompetent manager and it looks like he has put you on the layoff list, then fine. So be it. Don’t live your life giving up your human liberties to satisfy someone’s bonus check.
I’ll say this, and I truly believe this whole-heartily: You have a divine right granted to you by God to receive food, water, clothing, shelter, and free time without anyone threatening that. And you deserve fair compensation for what you do without becoming a slave to a company as a result of someone else’s greed. You don’t want to be on your death bed when you are 95 years old and realized that you lived the best years of your life as a Shivering Noodle giving up your free time and sanity to corporate greed.
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