Life is not a passive activity, and hoping for the best isn’t going to be enough. First, make sure that you are paying attention to the opportunities that already exist around you. If you have tunnel vision or wear blinders, you miss the activities going on around you. Focus, while remaining open.
If we could all focus our energies on what is important to our life, our goals, our mission, we could move beyond the anger, the pain, the hate and rise above it all creating a life of abundance, your dream life. The law of attraction aids your focus and intentions and you create opportunities in your life when you make the space to receive. That’s the groundwork.
Something you can do immediately is listen to the conversations taking place around you. Everyday you have two choices:
1) Inertia: the tendency of bodies at rest to stay at rest
2) Momentum: the tendency of bodies in motion to remain in motion.
Which one will you need to create your ideal life? If you’re having a tough time getting in gear, enlist the help of a friend or a life coach. When you have someone cheering you on, sometimes kicking you off the couch or out of a slump, it’s impossible to ignore. Think of how wonderful it would be to have your own personal cheerleader pushing you, motivating you! Each step you take to make things happen in your life is a big one. What if you heard applause every time you took a step?
We’re taught at a young age that putting ourselves first makes us self-centered. That’s literally the definition of selfish and it’s not an adjective that we want attached to our name. But, if we don’t put ourselves first, that means we are putting others ahead of ourselves. Think of what a disaster that would be in an emergency? Why is it when you ride on a commercial airline, the stewardess goes over the emergency procedures, he or she instructs you to affix your own air mask before helping anyone else? You can’t be well enough to care for others if you’re not caring for yourself. This is the time to put you first.
In order to do so, you need to delegate your tasks and obligations to others whenever possible. You can’t be all things to all people. Delegating is setting a boundary, an expectation that someone other than you will handle a task. Ask them. One of the most important tasks that new managers learn is the skill of delegating to their subordinates. We all get 24 hours each day, you can’t manufacture more time, but you can borrow someone else’s skills or talents to get things done. Right?
When I ask you to put yourself first and be selfish, I’m not advising you to be dispassionate or dishonorable. If you notice an elderly woman who needs help finding her car, by all means be generous with your time. If someone asks you for charity, be generous with your gift. (By the way, giving to others makes you feel better, so it’s a selfish way of being un-selfish!) Being selfish could be a new behavior, but I urge you to allow yourself to start telling others “no” and putting you first.
Make your network work for you. Call at least one person every day. Before you decide that you’re too busy, this only needs to take five minutes or so. If you’re pressed for time, simply tell the other party at the beginning of the call you only have a few minutes. Share stories and listen. If they have a gift, contact or opportunity that can help you, ask them. Contacting someone every day will create the habit of telling your story, asking for what you want, connecting with others and keep up your momentum. As this gets easier for you, increase the number of contacts you make each day. You never know who knows someone, who knows someone: you get the idea.
Be aware of your communications with others and yourself. Talk the talk of a winner. You will be more positive to be around and you’ll attract others.
When you wake up in the morning, or if you prefer, before you go to bed for the night, figure out what is most important about tomorrow. Write down what must get done. Review your list when you begin your day. Cross off the task when it’s completed. It feels good to cross something off the to-do list. It’s evidence of your accomplishment, right in your hands.
Experience is an excellent teacher. We figure out what not to do anymore.
Remember the definition of insanity? Keep doing things the same way, again and again, and expect the results to be different. That’s insanity. Shift your beliefs and allow for other possibilities and you’ll experience something new.
I also encourage you to look for your own responsibility when you have an unpleasant experience or exchange with someone. Questions to consider:
- Did I take something personally?
- Am I trying to interpret something that doesn’t need interpreting?
- Could I have responded in a different way?
- Was I acting in a manner consistent with serving my greater purpose?
- What, if anything, could I do to avoid a similar experience in the future?
There are always opportunities for you to analyze your behaviors. We are unable to control others, their reactions and their inactions. We don’t control situations, but we don’t have to let situations control us either. You control your reaction to people and your environment. You can choose to see a situation or experience any way you wish. Reflect on the experience, examine your own reactions and behaviors and reframe it so you will not repeat the unpleasant situations and will attract the positive. Forgive when necessary, beginning with yourself.
Knowing you can only control your actions and reactions, when someone else does something, is it your business? Sure, their behavior can have an impact on you, it will have whatever impact you decide.
Life is a lot like going to school. You can’t just show up and expect to get good grades. Sure recess is fun and you get to socialize and you can even learn. But what if you don’t do the work? You could just stay in bed all day and have the same result. So get into your life. Take charge. Decide what you will do, when and get it done.
If you knew you only had one day left of your life, at your current age, in your current situation, what would you do with that last day? Live every day like it’s the only one you have. Because truly, what more do we have than what we experience in this moment? Your attitude colors how you experience all your moments. Start living in the moment: you’ll be amazed at how free you will feel.
Let’s say one of your goals is to attract a loving relationship. Are you making an attempt to meet people? Engage in activities that you enjoy or find stimulating. Say hello to strangers. Meet people who like the things that you enjoy. Use creative visualization to create your perfect partner into being. Of course, Mr. or Ms. Right isn’t going to materialize on your front doorstep, you’ll have to do some work. You can’t find them when you’re overcome with loneliness, sitting on your couch, complaining into the phone to your friends, I’ll never meet the ONE. Not unless he or she is dropping by random houses, knocking on doors, looking for you. And unless you’re a character in a television series or movie, it’s probably not going to happen like that.
Make a list of all the things you need to DO, actions you need to take, to have your ideal life. Include the date you will DO the action by. The rule is, you MUST do at least ONE thing EVERY day. Start creating your new dream life, now.
(Your list should be a long one! And you will check off one thing each day! This list can change, be added to, modified in ways to create your dream life.)
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Stephen Mark is a serial entrepreneur, he is also a motivator, a visionary, a philanthropist, and a facilitator. To set up an interview, a book signing or an appearance or to order a copy for “21 Days To Creating Your Dream Life”, please visit: http://www.stephenmark.com |