World Musings

There are many problems that a lot of people face in life, and a common one is break-up and divorce. Alot of people will face either of these two situations at some point in their life. The only good thing that can be said about it is that at least you’ve had the experience of what it is like. There are some people out there that have had the same girlfriend or boyfriend throughout highschool or college, they got married, and that’s it. They’ve never in their lives have really experienced seperating from someone. Nor can they comprehend it either. So if you are going through either of these right now, it is a life experience that some people never live through. Maybe one can say that people like that will never truly appreciate a relationship. They will of course disagree with you, but what do they know, right?

So, what’s the most important advice one can give in these types of situations. If you are the dumpee, what is it that you can possibly do to win him or her back? The best answer is: nothing. That’s right, nothing. First of all, you have to remember that, although things might have been great for you, were they great for the other person? I mean, you might be happy being with that other person, but do you want to be with someone that doesn’t really seem to be happy being with you? I wouldn’t. Anyways, the best thing you can do if you are to ever have a chance at reuniting is nothing. Why is that? Let me tell you that the more you call, or the more you contact the other person, the worse it can get. The only thing you can do, no matter how hard it might be, no matter how much sleep you are losing, is nothing. Because by doing nothing, is the only way the other person can finally know what life will be like without you. Let me repeat that. By doing nothing, and that means no phone calls, no emails, and no contact, is the only way the other person can actually realize what life will be without you. This gives you the best chance. And yea, the chances are good that things are over with for good or else the “break-up” never would have happened to begin with. The other person just might not be happy, or they might just “think” they aren’t happy. Let them go find that out for themselves. And if you don’t ever hear from them again, then maybe they realized that life without you is much better. And if that is the case, then no matter how strongly you feel towards them, it’s just something that will never work out on their end. You might be having a good time being around them, but why would you want to be with someone that isn’t having a good time around you?

Beyond that, the other most important thing you can do is to go have a good time. If the other person knows this, then it might trip them up.  They’ll think, “How can he (or she) be having such a good time?!”And yes, of course, you might find that hard to do. It depends on how crazy you were about the other person. If the break-up, or divorce,really crushed you, it’s pretty darn hard to go have a good time. But at least give it a shot. It might take your mind off of things.   And if you just absolutely feel you have something left to say to the other person, then decide what you are going to say and make your one last phone call.  And make sure it is your last.  You will more than likey of course get their voicemail, so prepare to tell them what you want to get off of your chest, and then leave it at that forever.  After that, then lose their number.  Seriously.

Now, the worse kind of break-up is when you know darn well that you will never find anyone as good as what you were with. And this a possibility. I mean, if you were dating one of those “perfect 10″ types of ladies, or that perfect looking millionaire guy, the reality is that you just might not run into another. And you know deep down inside, that even though you will find someone else, chances are they just won’t be as good as what you were with. And you also might feel that others who were once jealous of you because you had Mr. Perfect, or Miss Universe, will be laughing at you. Well, unfortunately that is life for a lot of people, and you aren’t the first person to have this happen. The first thing you will always hear is that, “It just wasn’t meant to be in the first place”. This is true, but it doesn’t help. So if this is the case, then one possibility is that if you were good enough to get something that perfect, then you are good enough to meet someone else that is close enough to perfect. If you have the right mindset, you can get over this huge hump. If you can find someone that is still very attractive, then pick out one thing about that potential mate that is better than what you were with before. Maybe the new girl you met is pretty, but not quite as pretty as the girl that dumped you. Well, maybe she has nicer legs? Or maybe she’s a few years younger? Find someone that might not be everything that your former mate was, but has one quality about them that you find better. Maybe the new guy you met isn’t a millionaire, but maybe he’s a bit cuter and is funner to be around. Or maybe he has the ambition to become a millionaire and he’s an all-around friendlier person.

So, you might not be able to find a mate that was everything you were with, but if you hold off, and take the time to be more selective, develop the mindset that the new person you will meet will have at least one quality that is better than what you were with. This is usually very attainable no matter how good, or “hot”, the person you were with was. And most importantly, after time, when you grow older and wiser, you will overcome everything and realize that the way things turned out is the way they were suppose to. You’ll be much older and wiser and won’t feel nor think the same way anymore.